Life of Igumen Nazarius of Valaam (conclusion)

When a pot is boiling over fire, no insect can get into the hot water; yet, as soon as it cools down, flies and every kind of bug will fall in. So is our heart: when it burns with a desire for God, it is clear of passion and thoughts.

King David says, “O Lord, my heart is not exalted, nor are mine eyes become lofty. Nor have I walked in things too great or too marvelous for me, or in things too high for me. If I were not humble-minded as one weaned from his mother: but exalted my soul, so wouldest Thou requite my soul.” (Psa. 130). Think, what do these words mean? I can’t picture it for you! He says, “I was a great prophet, and I was a wonderful King; but I did not become haughty, and my mind and heart did not become preoccupied with that. Grant me, O Lord to be attached to Thee like a child to his mother, not resentful when punished, and not proud when rewarded.”

For God’s sake, learn and try hard, my desert doves! What does the desert mean?  A clean conscience; a mind cleansed by prayer, keeping the fast; fasting with prayer is not a wasteful labor. Blessed is he, who plants a garden in his soul!

How good and delightful it is for the brothers to live together! I do not know about you, but I feel like I am indebted to everyone and I am to blame for everything. Is it possible to be offended by anyone after this? If we love three or four very much – what a small thing that is! A trifle! It is better to love everyone in the world; I have an amiable simplicity, the gates of the heart are open to everyone; and even if someone is not happy to see me, I, however, am glad to see him.

A monk means a person living a solitary life; a monk means a different dress, a different disposition, a different custom, and a different way of life. A monastic wears black attire, which symbolizes mourning for the soul, day and night he must weep.

I did not know affliction for three years and became so accustomed to fasting, to the unspeakable oppression of the flesh, that I thought that all the virtue was in that. It is when three sisters visited me – despondency, boredom, and sadness—there it occurred to me that I did not know how to deal with them. I tried and became exhausted, but later I learned, saying, “Dear guests of mine, welcome in, please, I will treat you; let me light up a candle, we’ll pray, we’ll lament, we’ll sing together”, and I would cry out, “God be merciful to me, a sinner! You have created me, Lord, have mercy on me, who have sinned without measure, Lord, forgive me! How can I appeal to Thy mercy? Where will I start confession from? Most holy Mother of God, remember thy servant!” Then did my guests run!

And when you need to go to the Abbess, pray: “Lord, bless me to go to my spiritual mother, teach me so that she will listen to me as a sinner”, and say, “Mother, this is what I would like to do, but do not do according to my will, but according to yours.” If you need to talk to your sister, lift up your mind to the Lord, say, “Bless me, my Savior, to talk to my sister, and teach me, so that she may receive the words from me, a sinner.” You, however, keep doing everything according to your own will.

When I was on my way to you, I almost drowned; but when I began to drown, I gathered my mind and heart together: “Oh, Sweetest, oh, Dearest, most loving Lord! If Thou desirest to do so, save me, and if not, then I’ll go to the bottom, but I will not be separated from Thee!” Later on, I fell into a gully, and fortunately, as I was falling, I managed to say on the way: “Oh, my Lord!” Once, however, you mention such a Name, what can happen? I fell not on a hard surface, but it was as if I fell on a soft bed.

If melancholy comes, as if God has forsaken us, then read this Psalm: He that dwelleth in the help of the Most High” [Psa. 90]. Once you come to these words “I am with him in affliction, and I will rescue him and glorify him” [verse 15], believe that the Lord will not forsake you! If it is for sins – weep like a slave; and if not be grateful, as a son. The Lord requires from the sick only a prayer with humility, patience, and thanksgiving.

When the Sweetest Savior leads you to the heavenly Jerusalem in the unfading light of the Heavenly Father and says, “Heavenly Father! These are the fruits of My suffering.” There will be joy for us! It is impossible to say what an honor it will be for us.

Imprint all my words in your heart, where they will not be erased. Seek what is lofty, where Christ is, reflect on the heavenly and not the earthly; do it all day long, and the darkness will not overtake you. A God-loving person needs nothing but God; once he finds God, he seeks nothing else. One saint was always crying: “My peace, heavenly peace! Where can I find you? Only in the cross, and in Christ!”

Having lived a venerable life and having completely exhausted his bodily powers, the Blessed Igumen Nazarius passed away by the will of God to eternal rest on February 23, 1809, at the age of 72. His body is buried by the altar of the heated church. A monument with the following inscription is erected over it:

Nazari’s earthly frame lies here, his soul finds a home in heaven;

His memory stays bright in grateful hearts,

In which he has infused the holy talents,

All earthly treasures fade before those precious gifts.

Find restful peace here, Father, far from grief and sorrow,

Until the day will come of justful recompense.

Alas! The lips of Igumen Nazarius, from which the honey-like humble and wise streams of words used to flow, from which we received the sweetest myrrh of teaching, have closed; no longer do they move.