Life of Igumen Nazarius of Valaam (continuation)

While instructing the brethren who lived near him in leading a spiritual life by example and instructive words, Elder Nazarius did not leave the God-loving souls who were at a distance from him without consolation and edification. He wrote to a nun:

Great is the height of humility! The wisdom of humility is a noble virtue and an honor! There is no one more humble than Christ, and no one is more glorious according to the testimony of the truth. There is no light in me; I am all dark. I am not humble; I am a waste and unprofitable, and I do not have bold confidence to approach Christ [1 John 3:21].

Nothing is more beneficial than self-reproach: self-knowledge comes from self-reproach, meekness comes from self-knowledge. Use self-reproach: “I am a villainess, a lazy one, a parasite, a robber – I plunder my own spiritual salvation. Look, I sin in deed, in word, and in thought, and offend everyone.” This compunction will give birth to self-knowledge. Bring then your mind and heart together, close your eyes, and raise your mental eyes to the Lord. “Oh, sweetest and dearest Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God! I am a great sinner, yet, even I am not forgotten by Thy mercy. Thy grace and fatherly care are pouring down upon me! Am I worthy to be remembered before Thee?” This, in turn, will give birth to tenderness and meekness.

If someone reproaches you in any way, bow down to the ground before that person. “Yes, I am truly like that, I have sinned, I am guilty, I have gone mad, I beg your forgiveness.” If tears, tenderness, spiritual joy, or love from people come to you, then fall down before God and pray: “O Sweetest, Dearest Jesus! Am I worthy of being sent joy and tears? I am unworthy of such tenderness before Thee; I have done nothing to deserve it. Can such grace of Thine fill such a bad vessel? I don’t know how to keep it; I’ll lose it; send it to someone who served Thee; and I’m worthy of sorrows and depression, so that no one loves me, but grant me to love everyone, to bear sorrows and adversities with patience.” God will send you more for humility like that. Otherwise, we are like small children who rejoice in tender feeling grab an armful of hay, more than we can handle, and lose it bit by bit; tender feeling similarly soon depart from us. When sorrow, sadness, and despondency come, fall down before God and pray, “Oh my God! That’s my share, my part; that’s all that I deserve; that’s all that I deserve from Thee. Grant me, O Lord, that I may be meek, humble, and silent; do not forsake me, teach me, my Savior – I am Thy creation.”

To live with sorrows and misfortunes is like receiving gifts and presents from the Sweetest Jesus. “I want,” He says, “that My faithful disciples may continue steadfast in tribulation and adversity.”  

Do not give in to despondency because of your sins; sinners remain sinners until they call upon the Sweetest Jesus. Once they call upon Him, they are no longer sinners. Just as a child gets dirty and cries; the mother may spank him, but later she will kiss him and put a clean shirt on him. Let us do the same, crying out to Him: “We are defiled, wash us, Savior, cleanse us. ‘Into Thy hand I commit my spirit; Thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of Truth’” [Psa 31:5].  There is nothing that the Lord rejoices in more in than the repentance of a sinner.

It is sung in the irmos: “O Thou who was born of the Virgin, drown I implore Thee the mighty captains—the three parts of my soul, in the depth of dispassion.” The “mighty captains” refer to the three parts (or aspects) of the soul. Think in this way: they are the incensive, the desiring and the reasoning aspects.  We must use the incensive aspect against the demons, we should be angry at our flesh, and at our passions, but we direct it against our neighbor and grumble at God.  The one who grumbles is defiant, he is ungrateful, such a man is worse than a brigand.  No one on earth is more intolerable than the ungrateful one.  The desiring part is the loving part and it should be directed above all to God with all our strength and thoughts (and love is in the heart). However, we are preoccupied with sensual things, passions, all sorts of lusts, and harmful addictions.  Finally, the reasoning part is lofty and of itself is ruling and godlike.  It should be exalted, and one should consider it base to submit to the enemy, or to be enslaved by some passion. One should despise demons, but we often resort to haughty pride filled with contempt, suspicion, humiliation of a neighbor, and envy.  Tribulation can be providential, and punitive, and may come from demons, in which case it is for the sake of humility.  When a person does not submit or humble himself, God’s Providence or chastisement delivers him to temptation.

There is a purifying path, it is filled with sorrows, adversities, illnesses, exile; all suffer on the cleansing path.  There is a path that enlightens; it connects us with God Himself. It is when a person seeks, tries, cuts off his will, and the Lord enlightens him.  And there is a unifying path – the saints in their perfection are on it, they already unite with God in this world through the prayer of the heart.

“Let us pray with the spirit, and let us pray with the mind” [1 Cor. 14:15]. Think of the words of the Apostle Paul: “I would rather speak five words with my mind…, rather than a thousand in an unknown tongue” [1 Cor. 14:19]. I can’t tell you how fortunate we are that we are honored to be able to say these five words. What joy it is!

“Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.” Imagine that! My God! Who am I calling? The Creator, the Maker of all, Whose name all powers tremble at – Jesus Christ, Son of God! You shed Your blood for me, saved me, came down to earth; Oh, Christ, You were obedient even to death, death on the cross; have mercy on me, a sinner, and forgive me for being guilty in every kind of sin. Repel all thoughts that attack you with the name of Jesus.

Provocation, dialogue, consent, and captivity. First, a provocation comes, a small thought, like a baby, it only bothers you, but it can’t hurt you. Once you start talking to it, this kind of interaction is already like a young man, who can hit you; and when you agree with him, this kind of coupling is already like a grown man, who can kill you; and then there is captivity – the passion.

(to be continued…)