Confessor of the Sarov Brotherhood, Hieromonk Hilarion
Hieromonk Hilarion, in the world Iakov Michailovich Zdobin, was from St. Petersburg. He entered the Transfiguration Monastery on Valaam Island on Ladoga Lake in 1795. He was tonsured a monk on April 15, 1796, and ordained hierodeacon on June 5, 1797. He was ordained as a hieromonk in 1798. In 1804 he was transferred to the Sarov Monastery along with his spiritual guide Igumen Nazarius. He passed away at the Sarov Monastery on November 12, 1841, being 71 years old.
He was a monastic for almost 50 years and in his latter years he became the common confessor1 of the Sarov Monastery brotherhood1. This was a man known to many for the purity of his life, whom he admonished and comforted with his wonderful eloquent words and an exemplary love for everyone. In conversation, his speech was gifted with consolation so that anyone who heard him found spiritual profit in his words. His whole life was devoted to the struggles of kindness, prayer and salvation of those close to him; the merciful healing of sinful afflictions, soul-saving admonitions, and in general, strict piety. Yet, the Lord has not foreordained for His servants seeking Him, perfect comfort, but allows various temptations to visit them so that they may appear before Him as gold, purified by fire. It is for this reason that this virtuous man could not be without sorrow as is seen from his letters provided here:
I whole-heartily thank you beloved brother, Father Andrei, for your extensive and detailed letter. God’s care for you, brother, and the prayers of the Venerable Sergius were fruitful so you are permitted to stay at the Lavra. For him, who cares for his salvation and remains watchful, any place is saving. “It is not the place that saves a person, but his disposition and a pious pleasing of God.” Thus, live, brother and save yourself, and pray for me a simpleton. I live at the soul-saving Sarov, but what good it is for me, since the place does not save – Judas was not saved being next to Jesus Christ Himself. Attend to yourself, sobriety is required everywhere. Forgive me, brother! I earnestly bow down to you, a sinner and the least of all, the perpetual weak Hilarion.
January 28th, 1839.
Your Reverence, Most honorable and prudent monk O. S.,
My kind brother in Jesus Christ, may you be saved in the Lord.
I most diligently thank you, my compassionate intercessor, for your soul pleasing letter to me. As it was received timely, at a most favorable time for me, I write you the following. In your letter you quite profitably advised me not to be despondent, but rejoice wholeheartedly remembering numerous words of the Apostles concerning this. This, brother, is my path indeed. Since I am neither a faster, nor a man of prayer, nor an ascetic, but on the contrary, I eat, drink, communicate, and talk to everyone, but I do everything for the glory of God. In all sorrows, I often recall and pronounce with a heartfelt sigh Chrysostom’s favorite words, “Glory to God for all things!”
Presently I see it quite clearly and consider how the Sweetest Jesus Himself, through the path of my life, has been preparing me for the magnanimous carrying of the cross, given to me. Little-by-little He prepared me for such a path, that with His very own divine help it is not very burdensome for me. What is more, it will bring a great benefit to me in my life. Indeed, I have been asking the Lord to change the turbulent path, and here the Lord has put a stop to it. And again Glory be to God for all things.
Father Archimandrite N. was here for about a week on the Feast of the Holy Trinity and was very kind to me. He said edifying words, was condescending, and honored me to serve with him. He accepted my request and promised to alleviate my fate. I used to say the following words to many, “It is the quality of a noble, valiant soul not to give way to despair in a misfortune; a work of a grateful man is not only to thank God in favorable circumstances, but also to express gratitude in adversity also.” No one can embitter a virtuous soul, yet, when it suffers, it receives profit for itself. What can be better than to take one’s lot graciously and without grumbling? There is nothing more gracious than to forget offenses committed against us. While I think in this manner to strengthen myself, I say: “Endure, sinner, mourn, glorify God in sorrows, without labor there is not rest, likewise without struggle there is no victory. To him, who overcomes, Christ says, “He that shall overcome shall possess these things. And I will be his God: and he shall be my son” (Rev. 21:7). Thus, dear brother, may God grant you to overcome, as for me the simpleton, who was overcome, I ask you to remember in prayers. I remain with you, in the hope of your love and benevolence, I diligently bow down to you, the unworthy, Sarov Hieromonk Hilarion, created from dust.
Sorrow is always followed by joy; yet, guilt is always followed by chastisement. My yoke, according to the Prophet, will teach you.
May 21, 1828.
Most honorable and most venerable Hieromonk, Father A.,
Well-beloved brother in Jesus Christ, bless me.
I have intended to write you for a long time, but have been delayed by obstacles. Today, having received your letter, I write the following. Great sins call for conciliar repentance and penance, which are given to evident sinners as this life’s punishment. Confession, however, is the secret mystery. We confess secret sins to the Lord Himself in front of the spiritual father, to whom the power is given to loose and to bind. Thus, beloved brother, do not lose heart because of the fall, but fight, and do not grieve much, so that the enemy, having wounded you much, would not cut your head off altogether, in other words would not lead you to despair, which, as St. John of the Ladder writes, is most vile of all sins. So do not give way to despair, brother, serve according to the blessing given to you diligently, strictly, yet mercifully and humbly. You happened to get into a position of authority which necessitates firmness of soul in order to remain steadfast. Yet, you have not looked for it yourself, but God Himself and your superiors found and appointed you. Again, I will tell you, do not give way to despair, but try to reduce sin and not increase it. Once you have confessed to your spiritual father, serve with humility. If it will be for your salvation ask to be relieved of the position of authority – it is easier to be governed than to govern. Since small sins pave the way for the great ones, fear them, be firm and remain watchful, so that the eternal enemy of man may not throw you into a pit, which he is already preparing. This is what you should observe – do not drink hard liquor no matter how friendly you are with a person. Fear women and do not get into a close relationship. Great Arsenius was already an old man, yet he feared women and was strict with them. With the help of the Lord follow that, and you will not end up in a pit and as an evident sinner. With that, I wish you health, prosperity and all kinds of blessings from the Lord and His great mercy. I remain with you, in the hope of your love and benevolence, and fervently ask for your holy prayers. I, the worst at the Sarov Monastery, Hieromonk Hilarion, the ever weak, diligently bow down to you.
November 16th, 1837.
Most honorable and most venerable monk Father D.,
Be strong in the Lord.
We thank you much, gracious brother, for your note about yourself, which I relayed to elder Alexander. We rejoiced that you are doing well and were surprised and grieved much, thinking about how the letter concerning your innocence was received with displeasure. Yet, this has happened, I think about it this way, as the Prophet said and wrote, “This is the work of them who detract me before the Lord” [Psa. 108:20]. Also other words are written, “It is all the same for a wise man, if he suffers or is ill, he thanks God as if His mercy he receives”.2 With this I wish you, dear brother, all kinds of gifts from the Lord, a blessing and great mercy. May you spend the great fast, which has begun, in good health and for the salvation of the soul; to finish it well and bow down to the saving Passion and the Holy Resurrection of Christ. Your spiritual father Hieromonk Hilarion, the worst in Sarov, I bow diligently to you with Father Alexander and together we ask you, brother, to always have us in prayers before the Lord.
February 21st, 1838
Honorable brother and father D.,
May you be saved and stir up the gift of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I congratulate you with your move from Sarov and appointment to the new place of the Holy Tolshevsk monastery.3 May God grant you, dear brother, at the new place to ever renew yourself at your new place, with the additional grace and to excel and grow in the grace and understanding of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will establish you and strengthen you if you work for Him, the Lord, venerably and honestly. Since it is written, “Arise unto thyself, O man! Be thou new instead of old!”,4 and so on. A replanted tree gets sick and requires water and to be tied to a support. Water is tears, and if someone does not have them, he should sigh often, the support – the wise elders, the tie is the word of God, the Holy word, “Blessed is the man, who shall meditate on the law of the Lord day and night” [Psa 1:2]. “The law of thy mouth is better to me, than thousands of gold and silver” [Psa 118:72]. “Search the scriptures, for in them is life everlasting” [John 5:39]. This I wish to you wholeheartedly, I remain with you, in the hope of your love and benevolence, your co-petitioner in prayer, brother, the worst in Sarov Hieromonk Hilarion, a simpleton, I diligently bow down to you, I send you a blessing and gratitude for expressing your reverence.
June 30th, 1838.
Abba Dorotheus writes that any virtue without humility is an empty virtue. As it is impossible for a ship to be built without nails, the same way it is impossible to be saved without the wisdom of humility – the word of Syncletica. Since the abode and rest of the Holy Spirit is the wisdom of humility and love, and meekness, writes the Venerable Macarius. Those are the other commandments of the Lord. Forgive me, brother, forgive me.
Dear brother, Father D.,
May you be saved in the Lord.
I have received your two friendly letters with pleasure and I thank you, beloved brother, for remembering me, a sinner. Father Alexander is still alive and is struggling with illness. He is praying for us and for himself to God, and is sending an earthly bow to you. However, Father Paisius and Father Jesse, the warriors of this age, passed away, remember them in prayers, brother. I am sending you a book on confession, I hope it will be pleasing to you; and thus, I remain with you, in the hope of your love and benevolence, your diligent well-wisher. I wish you health and well-being and most of all the eternal salvation. The humble dweller of Sarov, Hieromonk Hilarion, the ever-weak who lives a pitiful life, as you have seen and known.
August 19th, 1839.
Dear brother, Father D.,
May you be saved and seek the help of the Lord.
I hope you have receive my letter in which I informed you about Father Alexander. I am reminding you that after his long suffering from illness on August 5th during the night time and he passed away on to the other age, to the triumphant church from the one at war, where the life is hidden with Christ in God. Father Hilary followed him there, having finished his suffering from dropsy on August 16th. Both of them were anointed at unction, they were given Communion often and were given a congregational funeral service. May their memory be eternal and may they find rest with the saints. As for us, brother, may God grant us to live a little more and to serve the Lord reverently. I thank you very much for sending the holy icons, dear brother. As always, I remain with you in the hope of your love and benevolence, the humble and the worst monk in Sarov, Hilarion, I humbly bow down to you.
Humility – is a great height.
September 17th, 1840.
- St. Seraphim sent everyone who came to him to Father Hilarion for confession.
- This appears to be a quote from one of the poems written by Angelus Silesius, who was a German priest, physician, mystic, and religious poet. His poetry was published in Russia in 1784—Such publications would normally be preceded by Church censorship.
- A monastery in the Voronezh region of Russia.
- A quote from the daily Menaion.
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